I always think blind dates resemble the interview process for a job. You have the resume—the information you are given about the person by your friend. The interview—the actual blind date itself. And the decision to hire or not to hire—aka, see the person again or not.
That being said, this guy’s resume could not have looked better, even on paper! After several stories about how wonderful he was from one of my clients, she finally asked me if I would be interested in meeting him. Ok, here is the thing, I hate blind dates! They are all sorts of awkward from beginning to end, period. However, in a moment of weakness, I decided to say yes and gave my client my number to give to him so he could call me. That sentence alone proves my point about how awkward blind dates are!
He graduated from Stanford University, top of his class. He had a high paying job, lived in his own place, and had a car. I know, the car is really unimportant, but when you are the one picking up the person all the time, it is very important! So on paper he looked good, really good in fact. I was impressed already and to be honest a little nervous because in comparison, my resume was, ehh all right.
I received a call from Mr. Blind Date himself a couple days later. I was working at the time, so he left a voicemail. I listened to it, and to my surprise he did sound very intelligent and nice. At least I didn’t dread calling him back. We played phone tag for a couple days, finally catching each other on one of the rounds. We spoke briefly, him mainly asking me questions, as if this was a pre-interview to see if I was a worthy candidate or not. I guess I passed the test because he asked me when I was available to meet. We set up a time and a place at a local coffee shop one afternoon that week. He told me he would be wearing a blue shirt and then we said our goodbyes. I hung up the phone feeling very much like I had just been interviewed for a position at a company I had no place even applying to in the first place. The conversation was so businesslike and straight forward. I thought to myself, well this should be interesting!
I was 15 minutes early to the coffee shop; I wanted to stake out a good place to sit. I was so nervous; I think I moved seats four times before finding one I was comfortable with. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wasn’t sure if I should order a coffee or wait for him to come so we could order together? Can I just reiterate here, again, blind dates—awkward! I decided to wait until he came to order. He showed up right on time. Ok—that was a plus. He was wearing a blue shirt, so he wasn’t a liar—another plus. I went up to him not expecting any sort of gesture and ready for a hello, but instead he stuck out his hand, and I in response fumbled around because I was not expecting to be greeted with a hand shake. I giggled and stuck out my hand and gave it a good shake. He then asked if I had gotten anything to drink yet, to which I replied, no. So we went to stand in line. As we were in line we exchanged pleasantries of this, that and the other. Since I had never been to this particular coffee shop before, I asked him what was good, thinking it was a perfect segue while we got closer to the counter to order. He responded, “Oh, I don’t drink coffee.” My voice cracked, and asked him about the tea, he said he didn’t drink that either. Well, why were we at a coffee shop then?! I told him we didn’t have to get anything to drink. He said no, it was fine, that he would get hot chocolate. He even ordered it with whip cream! Ok—so what I am supposed to do with that, people!?
I ordered a peppermint tea and he his hot chocolate. He paid, and found a cluster of chairs and a couch to settle down in. As my luck would have it, I picked the chair with the broken springs. So here I was knees up to my chest because booty was literally sitting on the floor. I knew it was a bad idea to wear heels! After a few more spurts of pleasantries, our drinks were up. He got up and said he would get them. Well thank goodness because at this point I was stuck in that damn chair. He brought the drinks and I fidgeted myself to a more comfortable position, all the while trying to be graceful and lady like.
He gave me my tea, and with his hot chocolate in hand, sat back down. We sat there awkwardly for a few moments. When he started to speak, I looked up from sipping my tea, and there it was, a huge mustache of whip cream on his top lip. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stared. I was so focused on the whip cream mustache that I didn’t even know what he was saying. It didn’t even faze him because he just continued on like everything was normal and eventually licked it off.
Then the questions began.
Now, I am good at asking questions and getting people to talk, as I have said before. However, this guy was way above my pay grade when it came to this. He would counter my questions with his own and I found myself talking way more than I ever feel comfortable with on a first date. He asked me about college, the jobs I have had, and what was the one thing that made me stand out above the rest—I felt as if my life was on the line if I didn’t answer correctly. This continued for 45 minutes! I was grilled with question upon question, to the point of feeling as if I was in an interrogation room and not a cute little coffee shop. This all climaxed to the point of no return—to the final question, this was the make or break it moment. How did I know this, because he told me so—yeah, that happened. So are you ready for the final question, the pièce de résistance???
Here it is…”What is your favorite Disney princess?”
Excuse me, what? I think I broke out in outright laughter. If you could put a caption on this scene it would have been LOL! I responded, are you serious?—and with a straight face he said, yes and repeated the question. Man, first off, I was completely caught off guard by his seriousness, and secondly, I didn’t know who my favorite Disney princess was! The last time I thought of Disney princesses I was ten! So I just blurted out the first one that came to mind—Cinderella. He then rebutted my answer with, “Why Cinderella?” I was suddenly taken back to my composition class in elementary school where I had to respond to the question with, “I chose Cinderella because…” and that is how I answered. I told him the only thing that made sense, because she worked her ass off and was rewarded for her hard work. I didn’t know what to say! I did think it was a pretty good response on a whim though. Staying true to form, by asking the questions guys ask me right back at them, I jokingly asked, who his favorite princess was. To my surprise he told me who she was and why he liked her. Curious to know, right? Well I sure was, because I was not expecting an answer at all. His favorite princess was Giselle, the princess from the movie Enchanted. (I included that bit of information, because I didn’t know who she was either.) Why did he choose this princess in particular? Well he said it was because “she started off being a helpless princess and ended up choosing the life of a modern woman—living in New York City, starting her own business, instead of choosing to be a princess. She didn’t rely on Prince Charming to save her, she created her own destiny and she was a testimony to what women want nowadays. He made her seem so appealing that I was convinced I had chosen the wrong princess and she was my new favorite princess too! Hold up—WHAT!?! –why did I even care about my Disney princess selection in the first place?!
That ended the date and we said our goodbyes. As I was walking to my car I was thinking how I completely failed that interview, I did not pass GO and I did not collect $200, type of fail!
That night I received a text from him saying he would contact me soon to schedule another date. I for one didn’t care either way and was shocked that he even considered another one after my epic fail in my Disney princess selection. A week passed, and I got a voicemail from him. He apologized by stating how he just didn’t see how this relationship would work out, and I simply was not the one for him. He wished me all the luck and click, end of voicemail. Well thank goodness for that!—Wait, what relationship?! I’m so confused!
I didn’t let it get to me and the lesson I learned in all of this? Well if I’m ever pressed with the life and death question of who my favorite Disney princess is again, I know what my answer will be and why. Mulan, because she set out to do the impossible and didn’t take no for an answer. With all the odds against her, she rose to the occasion and never let failure beat her to the point of quitting.
Now you know who my favorite Disney princess is, and why. You also can figure out why I decided that the blind dating hustle was not for me. As much as the matchmaker may know the persons involved, she obviously mistook me as a princess and he as Prince Charming. He however, was not my happily ever after, and let’s be honest—he was not enchanted by me.